Dear Santa,

With the risk of sounding ungrateful, I must politely ask that you pass-by your choices for my children’s presents this year. I have been deeply concerned over the last few years in the lack of variety in your gifts. Last year my 6 year old daughter received, amongst other things, a nurses outfit. After last year she distinctly stated she wanted to be a urologist, so what happened? She also received some “F**K me” heels in 3 different colours from Toys R Us. My son received a toy gun from ASDA – no surprise there you have stuffed one in his stocking for 8 years now and a series of books called ‘Horrid Henry’ who frankly is nothing but a little bastard without an ounce of empathy.

Although I’m sure your decision to stop producing your gifts in your own workshop is based on sound financial planning and business management, I do however feel that the quality of your service has suffered. I mean where is the Christmas Spirit?

I wait your response with excitement and anticipation…

Gary Gardiner

Santa: A Very Merry Businessman was the first stage in a series of SANTA works – a provocation exploring gender and capitalism.


'a fragmented but vivid reflection on the commercialised travesty that is our 21st century Christmas, much enlivened by two terrific performances from Gardiner’s son and daughter, aged about seven and five; after all, what’s Christmas without the kids?.'